The following great excerpt is from 10 Things You May Not Know About Listening by Dan Erwin:
“….1. About 70% of our waking day is spent in one or more of the four kinds of communication. Listening, 42%. Talking, 32%. Reading 15%. Writing 11%.
2. In general, listening CAPACITY increases with age, but listening HABITS deteriorate with age.
3. Listening experts believe that people in our culture are taught NOT to listen (Information is repeated, and people are not held responsible for effects of poor listening.)
4. In most situations where selling of ideas, services or products is the focus, there is a kind of “80 Percent Syndrome” at work. The person doing the selling is talking 80% of the time. Contrary to popular opinion, however, the best selling is not done by the guy with the fastest mouth in the West. In the vast majority of cases (internally or externally to the organization), selling success begins with the ability to ask good questions and then listen–really listen–to the answers.
5. Active listening is fundamentally about questioning. Out loud and silently, trying to understand what the other is saying and meaning. That means summarizing, clarifying and anticipating are all part of listening.
6. As much as 50% of a given message is typically misunderstood without engaging in active listening.
7. Like most communication skills, listening is not much imporved by merely trying to listen better. Listening is learned in much the same manner as are reading and writing–by training and study of the art.
8. Focusing on the structure of the message, rather than factual details is fundamental to listening success.
9. One important key to effective listening is controlling our emotional response to words, ideas and “hot” issues.
10. Listening needs to be obvious as well as active. The verbally or nonverbally reticent create difficulties for a speaker. Lack of obvious responsiveness can intimidate a speaker. Remember the truism: the listener controls the speaker.”
